mom-ing

 vivian cried when the kids left for school.  she loves them so much.

it was sad.  

but...

it melts my heart to see her excitement when they get home--she will she say, "MAX!  yay!" and throw her arms up in the air...then wave her little fingers for him to follow her, while she asks, "play cars?!"  they always spend a minute with her and make her feel like she is 

the best thing they've seen all day.   

i love watching my kids.
last night i went to a four hour meeting. 

 i knew i wouldn't get to snuggle up with vivian in the rocker and read her favorite books and sing our own made up rendition of, "the dads on the bus"  which she thinks is soooo fun, followed by laying her gently her in crib as i tell her to get some good rest.  she always replies, "ok, mom" in her cutest little voice.  i always check to make sure her special blanket is covering her feet and warmly around her body and for some reason, always make sure it is touching her cheek with hopes she feels peaceful and secure.  i then head over to max's bed and read a few chapters of our latest book to both him and kai.  we just finished 'because of winn dixie'.  dave teased me because he just happened to walk in while i was reading and crying!  if you have read the book, you probably cried too, although max said he didn't cry, his throat just hurt:)  we always end with a song before i tuck them in.   max likes me to sing songs he has never heard before and prefers if they are made up.   i check on abe and probably end up turning off fifteen lights on the way.  he is usually exhausted and once his head hits the pillow, he is out...with his lights on:)  then sadie and i stay up talking and laughing about her life.  i missed it all last night, and it made me feel grateful i get to "mom".  

 don't get me wrong, some days are pretty challenging, and sometimes i lay down at night exhausted.  i never finish my to do list and am always behind.  but, it is the best thing i have ever done.  i love the phase we are in.  i tell dave sometimes, this is the way our family should always be.  i want to freeze time.  but then i realize, every phase has brought more.  

just more.  more to learn.  more joy.  more faith.  

so, i can look forward with excitement even though i really love the stage we are in. 

i sat in the meeting last night, and kept getting texts from sadie.  i left her in charge of feeding everyone and abe in charge of getting everyone to bed.  abe refused to leave vivian crying, so he read to her, then put her in her crib and climbed in with her.  she said she wanted more books so he read a few more to her then took her downstairs and they ate chocolate:)  finally, he layed her down.

when i got home everyone was asleep except sadie.  she was working hard to finish homework and then she was off to bed so she could be up and at driver's ed by 6am.

i lay in bed and talked to dave on the phone a little bit about the day.  it was late and it was a quick conversation because he had work to do, but i love hearing dave's voice at the end of the day.  it's like the warm blanket on vivs face that makes her feel peaceful and secure.

i'm grateful he works hard at his role and we help each other.

anyway,  i felt a little guilty leaving last night, but came home feeling more grateful to be a mom and happy to see my kids take care of each other.
that is a treat!

Mothers, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones. Yours is the work of salvation, and therefore you will be magnified, compensated, made more than you are, better than you are, and better than you have ever been.

--Jeffrey R. Holland

 inspiration here

sweet nothings

a common conversation.

me:  "vivian, i love you."

her:  "you're welcome."

it's my favorite.

company

when life seems rough, it's nice to have a loving little sister lay down next to you 

until you feel like you can face the world again.

girls basketball

basketball season just ended.

sadie loved being involved and on the team.  

sadie improved a lot this year, worked really hard, and had a ton of fun.  that being said, playing time didn't come easily and sometimes that was frustrating.

i am completely impressed with her determination and her desire to stay positive and choose her attitude.  we had many discussions this year about the reasons we play basketball -- 

it teaches life lessons!  

setting goals, how to handle disappointment, working hard to improve, celebrating little successes, confidence, realizing other people's decisions affect you but choosing to focus on what you can control, being mentally tough- avoiding negative self talk, enjoying the experience and the process not just the outcome...lots of great things.

i think the best lesson of the season though, happened one night when sadie came home from a game completely frustrated.  she was in tears because she hadn't played very much and she felt like she was trying so hard and nobody was noticing.  i hadn't ever seen her quite so discouraged after a game. 

the next morning, she told me she was reading in her scriptures the night before when she felt so awful and she read something that really helped her.  it was about alma and the sons of mosiah:

14- But I do not joy in my own success alone, but my joy is more full because of the success of my brethren, who have been up to the land of Nephi.

15-  Behold, they have labored exceedingly, and have brought forth much fruit; and how great shall be their reward!

16- Now, when I think of the success of these my brethren my soul is carried away, even to the separation of it from the body, as it were, so great is my joy.

(alma 29:14-15)

she went on to tell me that she felt impressed as she read those verses that when she was sitting on the bench she had the opportunity to feel happy for someone else.  

what a mature thought!  

from that day on, i noticed sadie cheering on her team, being the first one off the bench to say good job to the other girls and really trying to build her teammates as she focused on having a positive attitude and truly being happy and feeling joy for others' successes.

the lesson that i hope sadie takes away from this season, along with all the other great things, is that Heavenly Father knows and cares about her.  he comforted her and answered her prayer and the answer came through the scriptures.  

i love this girl.  

she is wise, mature, smart, fun, beautiful, AND benevolent.  

in my book, that's a successful season!

(and now i can hear abe in my head, cleverly saying, "i'd like to read that book!")

grandma shirley

 dave's grandma passed away last month.

the last time we saw her was at her birthday party.  it was a great celebration.

she was a lovely lady with such a fun personality.  she was quiet, but then if you got her talking about something she loved, or if she was encouraged to tell a story from her life (for example, when she did something a little questionable as a teenager), she would get the most beautiful, fun sparkle in her eye as she would smile and retell the story.

my boys will miss and always remember the draw-offs they had with grandma shirley, where they would take turns drawing monsters or something scary.  she was an artist and always appreciated their work.

(the great-grand kids singing at the funeral- vivian went right up there like a big kid

even though she couldn't sing through her binky. )

things i have learned from grandma shirley:

*you can create your own fun-  she would make silly names for ordinary food.  "magic eggs" are a regular at our house.

*she noticed and appreciated the beauty around her.  she had some hard stuff in her life, but i always remember her commenting on all the beautiful things around her.  i want to be more like that.

* my mother-in-law spoke at the funeral, and said she never heard her mom say a mean word about anyone- she just wouldn't go there.  even when they would tease her and try to get her to say something mean, she would hold her ground and just didn't do it.  

i realized this was completely true. 

i never heard her say a mean word at all.
i feel like this says so much about a person's character and can't think of a better thing to be able to say about someone.  

the funeral was beautiful and it was so good to be with all of dave's family.
thank you grandma shirley.  we love you.

california

i'm so happy it's the weekend!

dave flew with kai and max to san diego for a weekend adventure.  

looks like they are having a good time despite the rain.

they watched the byu practice.  they are excited to be tyler's cheering section.

beach time

 dave invited my dad to go with them.  fly to the byu game?  my dad didn't hesitate for a second.  super fun!

it's been quiet around our house!  well, actually not that quiet since there were around 16 teenagers here last night between sadie and abe.  i think it just feels quieter since i am missing them- a lot.  but, i'm really glad they get to spend some awesome time together.
something they will remember forever.

applause

 kai shared the "worst" part of his school day with me.  

he gets pulled out of his regular class a few times a week and today was one of those times.  when he walked back into to his regular class, the teacher and the whole class, started clapping for him.  embarrassed, and probably a little confused, he realized his teacher had a test answer of his blown up and projected on the smart board in front of the class and she had just read it, explaining to the class what an awesome job kai did answering the question.  kai happened to walk in at the perfect time so she had everyone applaud.  he explained it as the lowlight of his day, but with a little smile he told me she had never done that to anyone ever before. 

i was curious what he wrote and when i read it, i thought it was worth applauding!
then i thought of his cute teacher!!!  this isn't the first time she has done this kind of thing to kai.  he wrote a paper about how scared he was when abe had his accident, but that he chose to be courageous.  he had to read it in front of a small group and his teacher started crying when he read it and kai teared up too.
the teacher told the group,  "look! it is so well written that it is making me cry!!!"   

who gets a teacher like that?  i am counting my blessings!!

my favorite part of his write up:  

"people can be brave by chosing the write."

kai, in his tennis class, not even minding at all that his little sister is twirling her dress behind him:)

what a stud.

 ....and since it's the last day of the month of love

i thought we could send it out with a kiss!!

goodbye february!  you were good to us!