vivian update

(first mural... yep! on my kitchen cabinets!!!)

vivian is 17 months!!!  where has the time gone?
she learns new things daily.

here are a few not-to-be-forgottens as of lately:

-she started walking right after her first birthday.  she likes to run, which is more of a prance and walks on her toes regularly!
-she talks and says a lot.  this only includes a few words that we clearly understand, but she talks and acts like we should understand, especially if she has a cell phone in hand.
-she watches out the window for animals every time we drive.  whenever she sees a cow or horse (which is a lot in wasatch county) she says, "ruffff" in a growl voice.
-she loves our kitty and says, "meow" on demand.  abe enjoys teaching her animal sounds including what a narwhal says.
-she yells a name when she wakes up in her crib.  i think it's whoever she can hear because this week it has been, "dad", "aaaaayyy" which is abe, and when she yelled, "mom, mmmoooommm, mmauuuhh--ahhhm"--abe immediately responded, "i taught her that."  with a clever little smile!
-she likes to read books.
-she loves to be outside, especially in her stroller on walks.
-she loves her siblings!
-she loves cinderella and get so excited when we turn the movie on for her.
-she likes to dance and it's super cute.
-she LOVES shoes (one of the words she says very clearly), purses, phones, fingernail polish, and JEWELRY!!!!  she often ends up with random people's jewelry on at church because she points to it and then waves her fingers towards herself and they always give it to her.
-and she still loves music, especially one direction, "what makes you beautiful"....i swear, i have heard her singing it to herself.  she really does.

found grandpa's pepsi in his truck and was so excited! she kept drinking it, spilling it, smiling and giving grandpa 'five'.

after sunday dinner, mimi got out her jewelry box and vivian was in awe!!!!

she took kai's remote right from him, but how could he say no when she is wearing her finest jewels!!

vivian is a joy to have around.  the kids love her and protect her and take such good care of her.  she is thoughtful and happy.  she is sensitive and whenever someone is crying she makes sure to go and rub them and look at them really close up:)  she adds so much to our family.  glad she came!!!

cannon beach

right before school started, we made it on a family vacation.   

it was a mini-miracle.... 

in lots of ways:

-money was tight (we had a few medical bills, and we just finished our yard which was a huge and extremely hard project.)

-with seven people in our family, it is hard to find a place to stay with short notice that is reasonably priced and hotel rooms add up fast because we now need two.

and

-we were all experiencing some post trauma stress. 

 i really was.  

dave took extra shifts trying to pay our added expenses.  he had been working A LOT.  i noticed going through something so traumatic had affected us each in our own way.  i just wasn't handling things.  i felt so strong and then when i knew everything was going to be ok, i let down and wasn't doing very well.  i felt exhausted, and was getting stressed really easily.  thus,  a family vacation seemed overwhelming and out of reach, but i knew we needed one!  it had been a long time since we had done something bigger as a family and time keeps passing...  i started to pray about it.  i decided to expect the lord's help.   i have realized, when abe got hurt and i didn't know what was going to happen, i KNEW the lord would help us.  i really had no doubt, although i wasn't sure what help would look like.   even though i didn't know what was going to happen, i knew the Lord was aware of us and he would help us.  i felt it so strongly.   since then, i have thought about this- i knew heavenly father would help with the big stuff, but sometimes with the little stuff--well,  i don't have as much faith.  i worry about things.  finally, the other day it dawned on me that i need to be that faithful and know and expect that heavenly father will help us... period.   fear is not faith and i can faithfully expect help.  so i did.  i prayed a lot about our family vacation.  i prayed about how we all needed it, we needed to reconnect as a family before school, we all needed to relax and enjoy being together, and i wanted us to recognize the beauty around us.   i prayed knowing that we are really trying to keeping the commandments and also recognizing that we are so not perfect!!  we paid our tithing and i asked for help to find someplace we could go that we could afford.

then we got to work.  i started looking at camping on the coast of oregan.  dave was looking at beach houses one day at work when someone mentioned that a co- worker had a house that they rent out.  dave called and she said they didn't rent it out any more.  he asked a few questions about the area and said thanks and hung up.  ten minutes later, she ended up calling him back--she had talked to her husband and they decided they wanted to rent it to us....and they did it for an amazing price.  it was my little miracle!

  this little trip was so needed 

 i enjoyed every second of it! 

even the 30 plus hours in the car.

 my goal for the trip was for my family to rejoice and soak in all the good and beautiful that God has given us.

here are some of the beautiful moments...

(i truly loved this trip)

i was so happy to find this little gem on my phone:)  

love when my kids get creative!

sadie and abe went down to the beach and came back with this video!  

it is a treasure to me.

max insisted on being in this picture... he posed and i laughed so hard....even better!

our first look at the beach.

evenings on the beach were my favorite!

i would never get sick of camp fires on the beach.

dave took the kids to the beach one day, but made and appointment for me to get a massage:)  

 he sent me this picture.

sadie and vivian as mermaids.  pretty sure they are singing "aaahhhhh, aaahhhh!"

we spent a day traveling to the cheese factory.  sadie and abe had to recreate a picture from when they were little in front of the mayflower.  maybe one day i'll track it down and post it next to this picture because it looks the same, only sadie and abe are a little bigger.

i really wanted to see the redwood national forest, so i was happy we went on this little hike by a lighthouse.  it was so beautiful!

we ate dinner on a dock with fresh caught crab.  the kids LOVED it!  

the little beach house was perfect.

it wasn't fancy, but so cozy.  it was so close to the beach and had a cute little yard for soccer.  there was no tv, but a great selection of board games.  the kids played them every night.  we cooked together.   we played on the beach, explored, found gigantic star fish, shopped, hiked, went to a movie and fed seals at a little aquarium.  

on our way home we stopped at multnomah falls.  it was awesome.  

and since twilight was filmed on the bridge, we had to gross our kids out.  

 so romantic.  haha!

i am very grateful for the summer we had and that we ended it all together on this little trip.  i know it might sound silly, but it was truly an answer to my prayers and a testimony to me that heavenly father cares about the little stuff and i can work hard and faithfully expect help.

there really is beauty all around.

self efficacy

how do you help kids feel good about themselves?  

i remember going to a class when i was a kid and getting a pin that said, 'i like myself'....for some reason, i have always remembered this.  it was a class on self-esteem.  i want to help my kids create a good sense of self, self worth, self esteem, or whatever you want to call it.  

i want them to be confident and believe in themselves.  

when max was maybe three, he and kai were trying to get something off a really high top shelf.  they were having trouble and then i heard max say, "kai, remember our family theme...'i can do hard?!'"  max knew they could do it and they did.   i always have felt that by helping my kids not shy away from hard things, they would feel good about themselves and it finally clicked when the elem school counselor sent home a paper on self efficacy.

since then, self efficacy is my new fave!!!  if you want some interesting reading, study bandura and his self efficacy theory.

basically, self efficacy is better than "self esteem", because its the belief in one's self to be able accomplish difficult things.  when you accomplish something hard, you gain more self efficacy and confidence in yourself and your abilities.  i was so excited when i read this because it's something i felt for a long time, but this put it into words that really made sense!

anyway, we have had a few self efficacy talks lately and now when my kids do something difficult, i like to tell them they just gained more self efficacy and i knew they could do hard!  

sadie came home from her violin lesson in tears.  she recently started with a new teacher and she is more demanding and difficult than her previous teachers.  sadie started just in time for the fall concert in the park, which meant that sadie had to memorize all the songs and the teacher asked her to play the guitar for the concert, and it was all to be learned in about a month.  the week before the performance, her lesson was terrible.  she still didn't have them memorized and she was completely discouraged.  we talked about the options, but sadie decided to be determined and give it her all and not give up.  she practiced extremely hard the week before the concert.  

as i watched her perform in the park, i knew that back story and i was so proud of sadie.  she faced her fear and worked hard and she did it.  we were driving home and i asked her if she felt a little empowered...she said yes!  yay!!  more self efficacy!!!

kids need to be believe in themselves!  they need to know they can make themselves do hard things.   with so much garbage in the world today, they will need to be able to stand up for what is right and choose to do the right thing... and that can be hard!

so here is my shout out for self efficacy!!!

i can do hard

confidence in my ability

i matter

i can 

and i will

make a difference.  

so, way to go sadie!  i love you and am so proud of you and your awesomeness.  thanks for not giving up --you are so capable and you did difficult.

reminds me of a poem my mom used to say to me:  

stick to a task 

'til it sticks to you

beginners are many

finishers are few.

way to be a finisher.

birthday celebration

kai celebrated his birthday by finishing up grandpa's basketball camp at my parent's house.  they slept over, ran drills, scrimmages, worked and earned money, ate treats and played with cousins.  

so much fun.  

grandma took them shopping and he bought these awesome white glasses with the money he earned.  lookin' good on his birthday!  we ate cake and opened presents.  

a fun beginning to a great day.

all kai wanted to do for his birthday was hang out with our little family and go to a movie and seven peaks.  so we did.  

 it was late when we got home.
all month kai wished he would get a certain birthday surprise he already picked out.  it was basically love at first site and he talked about it a lot!  he was pretty hopeful he would get it for his birthday, even though it was way over priced and dave had to do a lap around the store before he actually could pull the trigger.  

kai's first hopeful look at his birthday table:

 i wonder what it is??????

 cherry pie.....

 abe's must-have-gift he found at tj maxx.....

 build the SUSPENSE while we take some photos--nine finger photo....

kiss the birthday boy photo.......

 and finally....

yes!!!!  

kai's own, not handed down, very first, bright orange and awesome, ready to rip up the mountain, brand new BIKE!

 not sure if he made a wish since his birthday wish already came true!

 here are a few of my favorite things about kai's shrine:

 frog statue from abe.  a must have!

my crafty project.  not sure about the orange but it matched the bike and his room.

and kai's squirrel

watercolor that he painted with mimi earlier this month.  i love it!!!!

happy birthday kai!!!  we love you infinity!!!  that's a lot!

nine

it's kai's birthday!!!!

he is a great kid.  

his teacher last year told me, "if only they could all be like kai."   i'm lucky to be his mom.

he turns nine today!!!!

i still remember walking to hospital in labor and needing to stop every time i had a contraction.

here are nine things i love about kai:

1-  he wants me to sing to him and sleep next to him every night.

2-  he is responsible, hard working and likes to do his best-that's really three, but i have to merge a few.

3-  i like to watch him figure out math problems.  it's pretty amazing.

4-  his smile.

5-  he likes to win.

6-  he is sensitive.

7-  he protects his mom.

8-  he has great taste in shoes and really, just overall style.

9-  he is brave...and sometimes that's a choice.

 bonus: he is an awesome artist! 

....and he is going to LOVE his present.

abe wanted me to write what it is, but i said, "what if kai reads it..."

abe said, "mom.  no one reads your blog."  

haha! just keepin it real.

photo shoot

 abe was asked to do a photo shoot for the new era magazine.  we were in new york for spring break when they contacted me.  when we returned home, we got off the plane and went directly to the shoot in salt lake city.  

abe was exhausted!   

it was eye opening to see how much effort and thought goes into one picture for one page of this magazine for the youth of the church!

check out the magazine (and abe) here

during the shoot, we saw the questions that would be on the page with abe....i have teased him a few times about 'is it ok to have a party with both boys and girls?' only because abe has no desire to have a party with girls at this point in time ----and of course, it has to be said with a very ponderous look! :)

a glimpse

during the last couple months we have been stretched, our hearts expanded and gratitude deepened. it's been challenging and miraculous.  my compassion has grown and my testimony strengthened...i feel humbled and privileged to be a part of it. 

 life was starting to feel a little normal-ish

then...

sadie bore her testimony in church about her brother being protected and how this has been a summer of spiritual growth, faith and miracles for our family.

well...

ashley kewish's father just happen to be attending our church and heard sadie. the next day i got a call from ashley, a reporter for ksl,  and she wanted to do a story about abe.  she also said her father was super complimentary of sadie:)

   (she is going to let sadie shadow her at the ksl studio, which will be awesome

 since sadie is interested in news broadcasting)

a couple days later, ashley and her camera man, along with emilee eager (a reporter from deseret news) came to our house.  they interviewed us and stayed for over two hours.  they are great people and i'm so glad our paths crossed.  ashley brought her mom to hear the story and we ended up meeting her husband and kids also.  

abe was so nervous.  he doesn't need to be the center of attention.  i let him decide if he wanted to do the interview.  he and i talked about the impression i had in the hospital that this miracle wasn't just for us, so even though he was scared, he thought it was worth sharing.  it was difficult for him to answer some of the questions...we've discussed it frequently, but personally, i don't think he has a need to analyze it too much.  he knows he was protected, he felt people's prayers and he is ok now.   i am amazed not only at god's hand in it and the feeling i had that he was aware of abe, even before i knew abe would be ok, but also all the professionals that did their jobs so well.  they saved him and how can you ever express enough thanks for that?

anyway, we did the interviews and it was a good experience. 

  the story came out thursday night on ksl and friday morning in the deseret news.

ksl used pictures from my blog, but deseret news sent jeffrey allred for a photo shoot. abe literally walked in the door from byu camp and jeffrey was there ready to take pictures for the paper and online the next morning.   he was great with the kids!  

i enjoyed meeting him and hearing about the amazing places he's been and some of the impressive photos he's shot.   

pretty cool that we got to be one of them.

 my dear friend invited us and another family over to watch the news at 10pm.  none of us have tv! :)  so we streamed it, but had technical difficulties...we laughed that we might not even get to watch it live!  i swear she prayed and her husband figured it out just in time for abe's story.  sadie was in st. george with her girl cousins, but text me about abe's commercials...fun that he was the news "teaser".  we ate treats and watched and when it was over, we all cheered!!!  a happy ending!  yeah!    abe, kai, and max enjoyed the night....and we were grateful the story was positive.    

see the ksl story here

at one point, abe was the head story on-line.  

i am so glad people got a glimpse of his experience.

emilee eager wrote the story for the deseret news.   we talked a lot and i really like her.  she was bold and included the spiritual aspect of the story, which represented our experience and i respect her for it because sometimes that's not easy.

read deseret news story here

(deseret news facebook page)

here are a few of my favorite photos from the deseret news story.

 (photo by jeffrey allred)

 (photo by jeffrey allred)

(photo by jeffrey allred)

i thought that was the end of it....i went to church early sunday and somebody stopped me and said they saw it on the national news early that morning.  what?!  i was totally surprised.  supposedly, the associated press published the story and then papers all over the country picked it up.

dave and i were sitting on the couch when we received a text from his mom saying she just watched us on the today show....  

we looked online and there it was!

abe was one of the most viewed videos for the day

 watch the today show here

i had to take this picture of their web page -- abe right next to obama!!

 when i had the thought this miracle wasn't just for us, i had no idea!  i hope the story reached someone who needed it.  i know it has strengthened my family!

abe watched the today show with me.  i wondered what his reaction would be.... he chuckled...thought it was pretty funny that his "famous line" turned out to be:

 “It felt kind of like stinging, but kind of like a bruise-sting mix..."

-Abe Tullis

he and i were sitting on the porch the other night and he told me something felt like a bruise.  immediately we both looked at each other, and in unison said, "like stinging, but kind of like a bruise-sting mix!"  we laughed!!!  he is such a fun kid and has handled the experience and the attention amazingly well.   over 20 sites have published his story, including places like austrailia, new zealand and europe! abe thought that was cool.  a couple other people contacted us about interviews, so we'll see.  he was invited to be on a show in LA-- they wanted to fly us to LA!  although it sounded intriguing, fun and tempting, we decided to go on a very needed family vacation that week instead!  i hope that's a good decision.  i'm trying to follow abe's lead and a relaxing vacation, with the whole family, seems to be needed and a high priority at this point in time.

to top it all off:

i was preparing for sharing time about the priesthood--thinking a lot about how the priesthood has blessed my family.

abe is 12 and just received the aaronic priesthood.  i've always thought it was interesting that twelve year olds and anyone that receives the aaronic priesthood are promised the keys of the ministering of angels.  (D&C 13:1, D&C 84:26, D&C 107:20).

• WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO HAVE THE KEYS OF THE MINISTERING OF ANGELS?
• President Gordon B. Hinckley:  "That means, as I interpret it, that if you live worthy of the priesthood, you have the right to receive and enjoy the very power of heavenly beings to guide you, to protect you, to bless you." (Ensign, Nov 1982, p45)
• Oscar W. McConkie:  "The administration of angels need not be as dramatic as were those of the restoring agents from on high. Angels may minister and the recipient need not know the source of his strength or joy. For example, one person may be helped while speaking from the pulpit, while another may receive guidance at a critical junction in his life. In some instances a third party has been aware of the presence of angels while the party actually concerned was apparently unaware of their presence." (Aaronic Priesthood, p101)
• Elder Dallin H. Oaks stated that the ministering of angels can occur through personal appearances and "can also be unseen. Angelic messages can be delivered by a voice or merely by thoughts or feelings communicated to the mind. … Most angelic communications are felt or heard rather than seen." (Ensign, Nov 1998, p39).
• All members of the Church can enjoy this great blessing through the ministrations of the Aaronic Priesthood.
• Elder Dallin H. Oaks:  "Through the Aaronic Priesthood ordinances of baptism and the sacrament, we are cleansed of our sins and promised that if we keep our covenants we will always have His Spirit to be with us. I believe that promise not only refers to the Holy Ghost but also to the ministering of angels, for ‘angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ’ (2 Nephi 32:3). So it is that those who hold the Aaronic Priesthood open the door for all Church members who worthily partake of the sacrament to enjoy the companionship of the Spirit of the Lord and the ministering of angels." (Ensign, Nov 1998, p39)

I know that abe was protected and we felt comforted!!!!

all of this reminded me of one of my favorite conference talks--about angels protecting us.

read elder holland's talk here  

anyway, i had all of this on my mind as i went to church and guess who was in our ward that day???  sitting on the stand was elder holland! abe passed the sacrament to him!  it made everything i was thinking about even more meaningful.  pretty cool experience.

when abe turned twelve, i made this sign for him.  my sister-in-law took a picture of it and sent it to me while we were in the hospital.

i believe it.

abe shared with me this scripture he read the other day. 

3 Nephi 21:10

But behold, the life of my servant shall 

be in my hand; therefore they shall not hurt 

him, although he shall be marred because of them. 

Yet I will heal him, for I will show unto them that 

my wisdom is greater than the cunning of the devil.

the last couple weeks, months have been eventful... sometimes overwhelming, yet awesome.  i'm grateful for the reminder that we have help.  it's made me want to strive to be His servant and then trust that our lives will be in His hands.