max didn't really want to go to school and was playing legos instead of getting ready.
i thought he was tired, but after a few minutes he called me over and quietly admitted, "mom, the reason i don't want to go to school is because we have to dress up."
i thought he meant in a shirt and tie, but he said with a little tight mouth and small voice, "no, we have to wear a costume." sitting in the middle of the legos, i gave him a hug and happily told him how glad i was he told me what he was feeling...feelings are important information! i explained (again) that once we have that information we can then problem solve so he can feel more comfortable.
we came up with an olympic speed skater.
max had been roller blading in our neighborhood all week, pretending to be an olympic speed skater. he liked the idea and when he saw these awesome glasses i had stashed away, he was good to go! we put a medal around his neck and he was off to school with a smile, and i think, kind of excited.
i just wanted to pause life for a second and recognize this little success!
i try to get my boys to identify their feelings. i'm a big believer that feelings will either come out in behavior or they can be verbalized and validated- i think this is a good skill for everyone, but especially for boys. i don't think my boys have a need to analyze their feelings, like maybe i do, but, i think it is so important that they can identify them and express them in a healthy way.
so, way to go max!!
he came home from school and we sat on the couch. he explained, with a smile on his face, that it was a carnival at school! i already knew this, because when he said he needed to dress up, i thought, what?! where have i been? and then dug through the backpack--that i always forget to check! he had a great day and i hope it reinforced the process that he felt nervous, we problem solved, he chose to be brave and he had a good experience...and deep in his heart, i hope he feels confident in himself and knows he is capable of doing hard things.
