birding

Dave and Vivian have been into birding.

He bought them both binoculars and they are keeping track of the birds they discover.

Dave took me for an afternoon and it was so fun. 

Right down the street, we saw a husband and wife ducks, whom Dave has named, and eagle, swans, pelicans, and all kinds of other birds.

It's magical that right when Vivian is loving birds and this hobby with her dad, a robyn built a nest and laid eggs that just hatched in the tree right outside her window. 

It's magical until 3am when they are chipping and she can't sleep:)

and just for the record, Kai cannot handle "birding"

 

chosen

So...Vivian tried out for the Lion King. She auditioned and came out beaming. She felt so good about it. She was prepared and did an amazing job. She has come so far getting out of her comfort zone and being confident and expressive with her singing and acting.  After all of this, she didn't make it. I have a feeling she was so close. There. were over 170 kids that tried out for around 60 spots, so it was pretty competitive and even though she made call backs, it wasn't in the cards for her this time.  When she looked up the results, she tried so hard to be stoic, I told her it was ok to feel sad, and she started to cry and said, "I don't want to feel sad." But sometimes we have to let ourselves feel and sad is ok to feel. She cried for a few minutes and then Dave and I took her for hot chocolate and meatballs and ice cream to celebrate her, and her audition and how amazing she did, and that we are so glad she won't get cut from our family and we would pick her every time. 

She smiled. 

Then we noticed the boy that she thought was AMAZING didn't make it either. She came out of callbacks and told me that if they could just clone him for every part, the play would be so funny. She was SURE he would make it and when she realized he didn't, she was shocked. And also, thought he was so good and he didn't make it, it was possible that she was that good and didn't make it too.  

We knew this kid and decided to take him a treat, so Dave and Viv took him some ice cream.

I have been praying that Vivian would feel the Holy Ghost recently and in an unexpected way this was that opportunity.  We talked about how she had the chance to keep her baptismal covenant and comfort someone else and the promise is that she would feel the Holy Ghost and so as she reached out, to pay attention to the feelings of comfort, peace, love and joy.  

The next morning I was driving her to school and I looked back at her and she was smiling and looked bright, and even happy.  Then, to my surprise she said, "Well, I have a lot of people to congratulate today." 

I was kinda blown away. I started to cry. She wasn't really sad or making it mean anything about herself-infact she wasn't even thinking about herself. She was ready to look outward and feel happy.  We focus on looks so much but wow- beautiful behavior is SO BEAUTIFUL.  Her smiling face radiated confidence, kindness, love and light. 

I was reminded that keeping our covenants brings power and the Holy Ghost.  I saw Vivian experience this. She felt the fruits of the spirit- She was happy, comforted, peaceful, and was able to show love for herself and her friends. 

This was such a great experience- learning to hold onto our own self worth even when its not reflected back to us is challenging work.  My kids have had a few of these opportunities lately. 

 I love who they are. 

Well done VIVIAN!!!!

Pat

(me and my bother pat)

I kinda always have loved my big brother Pat.

I had a lot of separation anxiety as a kid and Pat got the horrible job of walking me to school, crying. 

He would stand outside the school door and tell me I would be ok and wait with me while I stopped crying. I remember walking across the school grass and his friend telling him to ditch me, and he said, "No, I can't ditch her, she's my sister."

I loved looking at his cool inventions under his bed- he was always creating and adventuring. Making model houses for little eraser people, making an instrument out of a hose and funnel, inventing a way to turn his light off from his bed by turning a paperclip stuck to his bed which was hooked to a string that went across his ceiling and lowered a weight on the light switch. I thought it was brilliant. He started PH Loans, he made model cars, built rockers, he had fish and bunnies, and found snakes and rode his bike everywhere. He made good snacks and sometimes would play legos and cars with me. He was smart and talented and in high school he was sporty and popular. Sometimes, he would come in my room and talk to me-not often, but once in awhile he would ask me how I was doing. it was a big deal.  I remember the most popular boy in 9th grade was one of his friends and would always say hi to me in the hall and when I got to high school all the girls that liked him were overly nice to me. He would write me letters on my mission and give me high school advice and I really loved those letters.  I loved his counsel and I took it to heart. I remember him telling me it didn't matter if I was in choir - that if I could be solid in who I was and not need the image of being a cheerleader or something to make me cool, then 

that was way better, and I tried to do that. 

I still love when I get to hear him speak.  I remember him teaching my kids about the battle of Gettysberg and how they won because they were on higher ground. I loved hearing him speak at my dad's funeral and I am totally impressed with the way he has taken care of my mom since he promised my dad he would. I love to hear him speak in sacrament meeting and I usually ask for a copy and study them. 

I got asked a lot if I was Pat Haws' sister. 

I really liked growing up being his little sister. 

This picture reminds me a bit of Vivian and Max. 

Big brothers can make a big impact on little sisters. 

 

throwback:)

 

Mother's Day hike

Happy Mother's Day to me!

I love these kids with my whole heart.

We went on a hike Saturday and out to lunch- they knew I wanted may gift to be time with them. 

They were good sports and seemed happy to do it, which was the best gift.

Max re-enacted the picture we have of Sadie carrying Vivian at this same spot 7 years ago.

Flashback to the last time we hiked to the Y -2015

Dave was out of town so Max and Viv surprised me with breakfast in bed. 

Toast, two eggs and some chocolate:)

 

elections

Max and Kai, both decided to run for student government.

They both lost-

well, they both lost the elections...

but seriously, look at what they created!!!

We gained a lot of laughter, they both put themselves out there and had good friends willing to help them.

Plus, I love it when we come together as a family and laugh and hang out 

and help someone accomplish a goal.  We are good at it. 

It's the best of times, haha... . and I wouldn't describe it as the worst of times, but a bummer they lost. 

Re-learning our value doesn't come from doing a "thing"  

Identity is so much more than that.

I'm a huge Kai and Max fan.  

 

St George

Dave was helping with the iron man race in St. George and so I drove down to stay with him for a couple days. We traded in my car and I drove a new car home. 

Goodbye third row, goodbye Honda Pilot era😔

It was time.

and I enjoyed some alone time by the pool. 

good recharge.