baby jay

our sweet cousin, baby jay finished his mortal life and was called back to our Father in Heaven.

he was only nine months old, but taught me a great deal.

he was born with a super rare genetic disorder and the effects eventually 

were too much for his body to handle. 

i'm grateful i got to sit with him for a day a few weeks before he passed.  he reminded me that God is in charge.  i saw this time and time again as his life was spared many times.  he helped me realize that love changes people.  it is a great motivator.  i witnessed the power of a mother's love.  it is so strong. i believe it is the closest thing to God's love.  baby jay was brave and taught us all to keep fighting.  fight the good fight.  don't give up.  on the day he died, his family knew it was getting closer and jaicee (his mom) said baby jay won't go until he has seen ever person in their immediate family.  one brother was flying in from portland.  he waited.  saw his uncle and his family and then waited for his mom to tell him it was ok for him to go and then he did.  such a sweet baby.  i only saw him a couple times because he was in isolation and the hospital most of his life and even in isolation, he miraculously impacted so many.  sadie made a video and a go fund me page so people could donate to a funeral fund.  it completely surpassed the goal, almost double the goal actually.  a good reminder, there is still so much goodness.  share it!

racing

abe decided to try mountain biking club.  

it is the same time as soccer so his first race was actually the last race of the season, but we decided to give it a go.

the race took place in st. george.  he planned to go down with some friends, but at the last minute, i decided i wanted to be there, so called sadie up and the three of us headed to st. george.  

what an adventure! 

friday evening we met his team for the practice loop, then sadie, abe and i went downtown and got food and found an outdoor concert.  abe pretty much drooled over the guitars.  fun times.

the next morning, the three of us went for a hike, supposedly to a waterfall.  it was a beautiful hike even though we really only found a puddle.

it felt strange hiking with my two oldest children, by ourselves.  usually i am watching and helping the younger kids and it took me back to all the adventures we had when it was only sadie and abe.  some things never change.  abe climbed all over everything and sadie kept up, but more out of protection than interest.  i remember when abe was little and he would climb on everything.  it made a lot of people nervous, but i seemed to get used to it and knew he would be ok.  even though he is fifteen, there were a few moments i had to hold my breath on this hike.  

i think he does it for the reaction.

later that afternoon, abe raced in his first mountain biking race.  

so many bikes and racers.  since abe had never raced and didn't have a time, he was towards the back of the 2nd heat.  it was exciting as they all started and off he went.  the trail was 4.5 miles with half of it a climb and the other half downhill.  sadie and i stayed at the halfway point to cheer him on.  when we saw him, he was killing it!  he was keeping up with the fastest kids in his heat.  we were so excited that he was doing so well.

i had the thought go through my mind, 'what if he gets a flat tire'  about three times.  i knew that we were unprepared for that and i was hoping it wouldn't happen.  a couple minutes later, i got the message from someone, that they saw abe...with a flat tire!  i knew it.  he was walking his bike toward the top of the climb.  we waited and waited.  all his friends crossed the finish line.  we waited. they started breaking down all the event tents and we waited.  i was hoping he would finish.  all of a sudden we saw a glimpse of yellow riding down the hill.  it was abe!  he crossed the finish line with a huge smile.  his friends all gathered around him and told him how sad it was that he got a flat tire because he was doing so well.  he retold what happened with a smile.  he hit a rock trying to pass someone and it popped his tire.  he asked someone if they would have a patch kit along the trail, but no one knew.  they told him he could take a short cut and walk down a road for about a mile and it would lead him back to the event or he could walk his bike and finish.

he started down the shortcut, then he thought, "this is stupid, i'm going to finish the race."  he climbed back up to the trail and walked for a long time and eventually, the sweeper found him and helped him change the tube, and he rode to the finish line.  

he took 140th place out of 141 and the last guys never showed up.  

dead last.  

i can not tell you how proud i was of him!!!!  

i was so happy he kept going even though it was hard.  he didn't give up.  he finished and was happy and said he had a great time.  i saw so many characteristics of abe shine though.  he didn't complain AT ALL.  he was positive about the entire thing.  before the flat he raced with so much determination.  you could see it in his face... he wanted it.  when it didn't go as planned and he ran into some opposition, he got back on track and worked hard.  he wants to do it again next year.

his coach was shocked that he did so well and made sure he told abe, "you know what you are doing next year???  RACING!"

he hung out with his friends that night and sadie and i drove home.  i like hanging with sadie.  i love her so much.  she is easygoing and helpful, and great conversation. 

i'm so glad we went.

then, we got the phone call that abe's bike got stolen.

so sad.

i'm not sure how we will replace his bike, since we bought it for an amazing deal, but even in the end, with a flat tire and a stolen bike, i won't forget abe's smile as he crossed the finish line with his old tube wrapped around his body. all of us running to him and surrounding him, so happy to see him. i was praying that he would finish.  

i expect to sit in heaven and wait for him and i'm sure i will be praying him there too.  when he walks in with his awesome smile, it will be a happy day.

now i hope the police find his bike!!

with honor

my cute sadie finished high school!  

the high school experience for her ended on a high note.  she accomplished her goal of graduating with a 4.0 and graduated as valedictorian.

it has been an absolute honor being a part of her life and helping raise her.  

she is good through and through.

high school can be a tough time and she definitely had bumps in her road.  i believe they made her stronger, more aware, and helped her rely on the Lord.  she decided what she wanted to do and what she wanted to be about, and then she went about doing it.

i watched her put first things first, work hard, reach out to others, and trust that Heavenly Father would prosper her and He did.

it was marvelous to watch.

words can't describe the feeling i got watching her speak in front of the huge crowd at graduation.  she did a beautiful job and it was great closure to this amazing chapter in her life.

viv liked wearing sadie's medals and pretending to graduate.  

good sisters.

i'm grateful sadie and abe were in student government with each other.  i'm grateful they had each other during abe's first year and sadie's last year in high school.

i hope they always choose to be good friends. 

(sadie and her grandparents)

i am so proud of sadie and think she had an ideal high school experience.  she loved it.  i hope as she moves forward in life, she will remember the process of the last four years...times of discouragement and heartache mixed with joy and happiness.  

you have to have the low-lights to appreciate the high-lights.  

things are usually hard before they become easy.  

do your part and trust that you will have heaven's help. 

 don't be a complainer. 

focus on what's right not so much what's wrong.  

be your own best friend.  positive self talk goes a long way. 

 be grateful and notice the sun rising each morning.
smile because it tells your brain it's happy:) 

decide what you want to do early, and then go about doing it. 

 things are usually not what you expect

but you can create good where you are.  

choose to do what it takes to be happy (ma sa laa ch'ool)  

leave it better than you found it. 

 raise the bar just a little bit.

be original.

 love life.

truly hope for good things ahead and always, always, always 

know you are loved!

I LOVE YOU SADIE!  

YOUR MOM THINKS YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING.

aquarium

i was asked to teach a 5th sunday combined lesson for church and was feeling a little nervous about it.  sadie took the kids to the aquarium for the day, so i could go to lunch with dave and then have a quiet house for the afternoon.  the kids loved it.  i thought it was so thoughtful of her.  she is definitely going to be missed when she heads off to college.  she usually knows just what her mom needs when i am at the end of my rope.  she does little things that give me a boost all the time!

twelve and awesome

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAI!!!

today we celebrated kai!  we woke up and had our traditional birthday table, then we headed to provo where we bowled at BYU, rushing back just in time so kai could go to his very first combined young men/young women activity!  crazy!!  

kai is the middle child and just like the center of a teeter totter, he brings a lot of balance to our family.  he relates to the big kids, and can help and love the littles.  he is sensitive and notices what is going on.  he is determined, responsible and self motivated.  i hope he always stays focused on what is most important.  i love my kai.  sometimes, being the middle isn't easy i'm sure, and sometimes he has to be extremely patient while others needs are put before his.  i realized this a long time ago, so i have been determined to make time for kai.  i try to get max and viv tucked in and then kai and i read together.  it's our time and it's really one of my favorite times of the day.  we just finished the 6th harry potter book and when we complete the 7th, he and i are going on a trip.  not sure who else we will invite, but we've been working towards our harry potter world trip- and i can't wait!  

a mom of one of his friends called me the other day and told me her son said kai always does the right thing.  she wanted me to know because she thought it was quite a compliment.  we all make mistakes, but what a great reputation to have and strive for.  i'm proud of this boy, and so glad he belongs to our family.

family fun

i've been slow to get in my groove this summer.  

all of a sudden, i realized my kids only have a month and a half before they head back to school!

so i am trying to get it together, put projects aside that have occupied my brain, and 

notice and listen to my kids a little more.

our summer tradition is each person picks a "family fun" event.  seven peaks was max's pick and our first family fun adventure of the summer.  we missed abe, who is away at scout camp, and sadie who now has a real, full time job, but i thoroughly enjoyed dave and these three kids.

vivian looks as big as max.  

she bravely went on some pretty big slides.  max served people the whole time and kai carried the tube for dating etiquette practice;)  dave spent some time with vivian so i could go on a few rides with the boys...why i chose BOOMERANG, i'm not sure!!

we ended the night at waffle love.

i love this family of mine.

even though swimming, and cold water, are not usually my first choice of fun, it was a great time and watching the smiles on their faces made it such a fun family day.

GOOD PICK MAX!

simply happy.

vivian hates milk in her cereal...unless, it comes straight from the cow, i guess.

even kai couldn't pour it without smiling.  so silly.

love mornings with these kiddos.