throwback thursday

life moves pretty fast.  if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.  

- ferris bueller

this is me.  do i look like vivian?

vivian- one week old

behold

i just finished a book called, Covenant Motherhood by Stephanie Dibb Sorenson.  my sister told me to read it one day, probably when i was feeling crazy or way behind.  

one part of this book is about when jesus blessed the children in the book of mormon, "He blessed the children one by one, and then He turned to their parents and said, 'Behold you little ones.'   Angels came down from heaven and surrounded the children as by fire, and the multitude was overcome...Elder Ballard explained: "Notice that He didn't say 'glance at them' or 'casually observe them' or 'occasionally take a look in their general direction.'  He said to behold them.  to me that means that we should embrace them with our eyes and with out hearts; we should see and appreciate them for who they really are: spirit children of our Heavenly Father, with divine attributes.  When we truly behold our little ones, we behold the glory, wonder, and majesty of God, our Eternal Father."

i seriously loved this book.  

the last few days i have been listening to conference talks about motherhood and have felt sort of a reverence and joy in my heart when i think about my kids and being their mom.   maybe i have just been 'beholding' them, you know, embracing them with my eyes and my heart, and i feel so lucky to be part of it all.

here is a list of some mom moments that did my heart good this week:

-text check with sadie late at night when we ended up laughing and talking about her life.

- told abe i love him and he responded, "i love you too, mom."

-kai confided a few of his deep feelings this week and it made me so happy he expressed what he felt and that he trusted me with the information.

-this week as i tucked max in bed he asked me to make up an original halloween songs.  they are the lamest songs ever!  he thinks they are the best and he wants it to be our thing and no one else can hear or know.  he looks forward to it each night.

-miss vivian wants to watch cinderella all day on the computer.  she LOVES it and sings right along with the songs even though she doesn't really talk a whole lot yet.  sadie had a friend over and they were working on the computer so i set vivian on my bed so i could make dinner and turned on sleeping beauty.  all of a sudden i heard a blood curdling scream.  i ran to my room ....vivian was pointing at maleficent on the screen.  even though it was so sad that she was scared, i loved her cute shriek and for some reason it makes me so happy this is her reaction when something frightens her. (she screamed at a cricket in our laundry the other day too!)   i curled up next to her and snuggled.

a few pics i ran across this week that made me smile and behold...

 i hope it's ok to 'behold' my husband too... he is pretty great himself.

vivian update

(first mural... yep! on my kitchen cabinets!!!)

vivian is 17 months!!!  where has the time gone?
she learns new things daily.

here are a few not-to-be-forgottens as of lately:

-she started walking right after her first birthday.  she likes to run, which is more of a prance and walks on her toes regularly!
-she talks and says a lot.  this only includes a few words that we clearly understand, but she talks and acts like we should understand, especially if she has a cell phone in hand.
-she watches out the window for animals every time we drive.  whenever she sees a cow or horse (which is a lot in wasatch county) she says, "ruffff" in a growl voice.
-she loves our kitty and says, "meow" on demand.  abe enjoys teaching her animal sounds including what a narwhal says.
-she yells a name when she wakes up in her crib.  i think it's whoever she can hear because this week it has been, "dad", "aaaaayyy" which is abe, and when she yelled, "mom, mmmoooommm, mmauuuhh--ahhhm"--abe immediately responded, "i taught her that."  with a clever little smile!
-she likes to read books.
-she loves to be outside, especially in her stroller on walks.
-she loves her siblings!
-she loves cinderella and get so excited when we turn the movie on for her.
-she likes to dance and it's super cute.
-she LOVES shoes (one of the words she says very clearly), purses, phones, fingernail polish, and JEWELRY!!!!  she often ends up with random people's jewelry on at church because she points to it and then waves her fingers towards herself and they always give it to her.
-and she still loves music, especially one direction, "what makes you beautiful"....i swear, i have heard her singing it to herself.  she really does.

found grandpa's pepsi in his truck and was so excited! she kept drinking it, spilling it, smiling and giving grandpa 'five'.

after sunday dinner, mimi got out her jewelry box and vivian was in awe!!!!

she took kai's remote right from him, but how could he say no when she is wearing her finest jewels!!

vivian is a joy to have around.  the kids love her and protect her and take such good care of her.  she is thoughtful and happy.  she is sensitive and whenever someone is crying she makes sure to go and rub them and look at them really close up:)  she adds so much to our family.  glad she came!!!

cannon beach

right before school started, we made it on a family vacation.   

it was a mini-miracle.... 

in lots of ways:

-money was tight (we had a few medical bills, and we just finished our yard which was a huge and extremely hard project.)

-with seven people in our family, it is hard to find a place to stay with short notice that is reasonably priced and hotel rooms add up fast because we now need two.

and

-we were all experiencing some post trauma stress. 

 i really was.  

dave took extra shifts trying to pay our added expenses.  he had been working A LOT.  i noticed going through something so traumatic had affected us each in our own way.  i just wasn't handling things.  i felt so strong and then when i knew everything was going to be ok, i let down and wasn't doing very well.  i felt exhausted, and was getting stressed really easily.  thus,  a family vacation seemed overwhelming and out of reach, but i knew we needed one!  it had been a long time since we had done something bigger as a family and time keeps passing...  i started to pray about it.  i decided to expect the lord's help.   i have realized, when abe got hurt and i didn't know what was going to happen, i KNEW the lord would help us.  i really had no doubt, although i wasn't sure what help would look like.   even though i didn't know what was going to happen, i knew the Lord was aware of us and he would help us.  i felt it so strongly.   since then, i have thought about this- i knew heavenly father would help with the big stuff, but sometimes with the little stuff--well,  i don't have as much faith.  i worry about things.  finally, the other day it dawned on me that i need to be that faithful and know and expect that heavenly father will help us... period.   fear is not faith and i can faithfully expect help.  so i did.  i prayed a lot about our family vacation.  i prayed about how we all needed it, we needed to reconnect as a family before school, we all needed to relax and enjoy being together, and i wanted us to recognize the beauty around us.   i prayed knowing that we are really trying to keeping the commandments and also recognizing that we are so not perfect!!  we paid our tithing and i asked for help to find someplace we could go that we could afford.

then we got to work.  i started looking at camping on the coast of oregan.  dave was looking at beach houses one day at work when someone mentioned that a co- worker had a house that they rent out.  dave called and she said they didn't rent it out any more.  he asked a few questions about the area and said thanks and hung up.  ten minutes later, she ended up calling him back--she had talked to her husband and they decided they wanted to rent it to us....and they did it for an amazing price.  it was my little miracle!

  this little trip was so needed 

 i enjoyed every second of it! 

even the 30 plus hours in the car.

 my goal for the trip was for my family to rejoice and soak in all the good and beautiful that God has given us.

here are some of the beautiful moments...

(i truly loved this trip)

i was so happy to find this little gem on my phone:)  

love when my kids get creative!

sadie and abe went down to the beach and came back with this video!  

it is a treasure to me.

max insisted on being in this picture... he posed and i laughed so hard....even better!

our first look at the beach.

evenings on the beach were my favorite!

i would never get sick of camp fires on the beach.

dave took the kids to the beach one day, but made and appointment for me to get a massage:)  

 he sent me this picture.

sadie and vivian as mermaids.  pretty sure they are singing "aaahhhhh, aaahhhh!"

we spent a day traveling to the cheese factory.  sadie and abe had to recreate a picture from when they were little in front of the mayflower.  maybe one day i'll track it down and post it next to this picture because it looks the same, only sadie and abe are a little bigger.

i really wanted to see the redwood national forest, so i was happy we went on this little hike by a lighthouse.  it was so beautiful!

we ate dinner on a dock with fresh caught crab.  the kids LOVED it!  

the little beach house was perfect.

it wasn't fancy, but so cozy.  it was so close to the beach and had a cute little yard for soccer.  there was no tv, but a great selection of board games.  the kids played them every night.  we cooked together.   we played on the beach, explored, found gigantic star fish, shopped, hiked, went to a movie and fed seals at a little aquarium.  

on our way home we stopped at multnomah falls.  it was awesome.  

and since twilight was filmed on the bridge, we had to gross our kids out.  

 so romantic.  haha!

i am very grateful for the summer we had and that we ended it all together on this little trip.  i know it might sound silly, but it was truly an answer to my prayers and a testimony to me that heavenly father cares about the little stuff and i can work hard and faithfully expect help.

there really is beauty all around.