God is in the know

This made me smile.

Abe said on Christmas morning, the kids in his town all seemed to have the same toy truck and the same toy doll, because that is the only thing sold in the store, and they were so happy with their gift.

My brother, Pat, signed up for a sub for Santa and was randomly assigned this cute family, who happen to be from the Congo. In fact, the dad also served his mission in Dolysie, where Abe was serving at the time. They knew some of the same people and it felt like a little bond to where Abe was on Christmas. So glad we got to do a tiny bit to help this family have a fun Christmas morning. 

Abe said a family invited them over for "Christmas beans" and when he got there the boy was into making  homemade board games and Abe, who also has a few board games in the making, got to sit and play the boys game with him on Christmas. 

Heavenly Father knows Abe. All the little tender mercies are amazing.

 

"win with servicing"- 6th grade Abe

 My mom called and I was in bed sick. 

I'm sure I had covid...again.

and my kids tested positive.

It was discouraging to have to quarentine.

The next thing I know, my mom was at the door with a huge pot of homemade chicken noodle soup and her famous sugar cookies.

My mom is 84 years old and she has her own set of heartaches right now, but she keeps going, looking outside of herself. She has had a lonely year, missing my dad on top of a pandemic where she has been really isolated in her grief. She is the epitome of enduring to the end. 

Really grateful for her love, example and her care....and her soup. 

headshots

I finally made myself take a few headshots. 

 I need them for a few coaching things and I have been avoiding it.

 I struggle with photos since I had bells palsy 

so this was a win for me- and a reminder

 I am so grateful I can smile.  

 

little myndie

 This was me when I was four, maybe five years old. 

I believe I had bells palsy, but had no idea. 

I have heard I had spinal meningitis and was in the hospital and that's why I could't smile, and I have heard I had ear infections which caused me to have nerve damage.

 I don't know and neither does anyone else. 

(don't get me wrong, I had great parents and everyone was doing their best and I have a lot of understanding of that as a parent)

Maybe this is where my sad but deep belief formed and burrowed 

in my heart and mind that I'm not worth noticing.  

I knew I couldn't smile and I remember two times getting my picture taken and someone saying to the photographer, "she can't smile." nothing else. That was it.

I imagine that must have been confusing, and hard. 

I kinda want to scoop this little girl up and hold her and tell her it's ok. 

That she is ok. 

And even though you think you are flawed 

and everyone else knows/does/is better,

 it's not true.  

that's a really sad conclusion your brain made up.  

You have a virus on your nerve and you are still completely worthy, 

and just tell her she's safe and love on her 

and let her know that her eyes can still smile 

and that is a strong, beautiful and brave thing.

then I would help her think of five things to make her eyes smile.

I think they would have been:

bubble gum

the dress I'm was wearing that I picked out at Kmart

eating oranges with my dad

playing matchbox cars with my brother

and collections. I loved collections

oh, and selling rocks in an ice cream bucket at my brothers basketball games.

and roller skating.

ok seven things. 

because I am the seventh child and seven is a very lucky number.

don't come alone

My sacrament meeting bench had 7 kids on it and it was my favorite. 

It seriously made my heart happy to have these people with me

(and kai who is 17 and still a kid)

They were all helping each other and actually pretty quiet.

I gave kai a hand massage, which is what I do every Sunday to whoever wants one... 

I hope he will feel positive vibes and it will translate into loving sacrament meeting:) 

 I have been especially grateful for the sacrament and covenants lately.

 This sacrament in particular reminded me of this talk, maybe that's why I loved it.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2021/10/13cordon?lang=eng

art therapy

sometimes I want to create and be an artist 

and so I do, and I am

and I try not to judge

or think I don't know what I'm doing.

and instead, create something I enjoy

it's a little therapeutic.

 

"twins"

we have had Nora for one year.

she is anxious.

and has sad eyes

but is a great snuggler 

and sleeps on my feet

which I actually really like.

She makes me want to sing the song, "true colors'

so she stays

even though she ruined my couch

and chews up every pen in the house.

and Vivian loves her.

and kai does not

although I caught him sitting by her

and not minding it.